Hedonism II: New Year’s Eve 2018

“The Hajj”

For people of the Muslim religion, there is The Hajj:  a once-a-year pilgrimage to Mecca.  My annual pilgrimage is to a somewhat less holy place:  Hedonism II in Negril, Jamaica for the New Year’s Eve celebration.  Here’s a rundown of my time there.

Day 1:  Travel (12/26/18)

With a government shutdown having occurred just days prior to my trip, I was mildly concerned about how that would impact my travel; it turned out that I was worrying for nothing as it appeared to have no impact – at least not for the time being, anyway.  For the first time ever, I purchased the Arrival service from Club Mobay.  I did not purchase the bundle (arrival & departure) because I book the business class flight on Caribbean Airlines and that is included in the price of purchase.  The reason for purchasing the arrival only service is not to use the lounge but instead to get the fast-track through security.  Since I had a car waiting for me (Mr. Reasonable), I figured I could skip the lounge and go straight to my car so I could get to the resort faster.  The Club Mobay service worked flawlessly and I highly recommend purchasing this for your own trip.

Day 2:  First Full Day (12/27/18)

In the two decades that I’ve been vacationing there at New Year’s, this is the first time I can recall seeing an eggnog dispenser at the main bar; it was there during breakfast, but I don’t know if it remained there throughout the day.  If it was there on my previous trips, then I missed it – but this may have been the first year I recall seeing eggnog being offered at Hedo.  For at least the third year in a row, the ice machine is not working; I’m referring, of course, to the ice machine in the hut by the hot tub.  Are they planning on fixing the machine?  If they are going to replace it, what’s taking so long?   Why is it still there?

Day 3:  Return of the Partiers (12/28/18)

This morning at breakfast, I noticed that the eggnog dispenser was gone, so apparently, the management has officially declared Christmas season over.  The good news, however, is the fact that today is the day that The Fun Bunch arrived – the folks who I remember from previous years that provided a great deal of the positive energy in the past.  There is a noticeable change in the mood around the place; where it seemed to have been relatively sedate, the folks who tend to ratchet it up for New Year’s have finally returned – and not a day too soon!

Day 4:  The Gazebo (12/29/18)

When I woke up, I felt like making some coffee in my room; I was discouraged from doing so by the fact that although the room was supplied with a coffee machine and coffee packages, there was no sweetener nor creamer.  Weather-wise, the morning was sunny followed by a mostly cloudy afternoon.  The cloudy weather was in no way an encumbrance to many of the guests as there were afternoon PDA’s a-plenty.  Going to the piano bar that night, I found it to be mostly pretty boring, but on a good note, Eldon was back behind the bar; he had been noticeably missing the past couple of days (turned out he was on vacation).    Later, I walked to the disco, which was fairly dead; what was not dead was the gazebo immediately outside the disco – three couples were engaged in an orgy and there was quite the crowd gathered around to watch.

Day 5:  The Portuguese Troika (12/30/18)

Last year, I noticed there was a gay couple at the resort; it turned out they were from Portugal.  One of them was considerably older than the other.  This year they returned, and brought a friend, so instead of being a couple, they were a triple.  Their third friend appeared to have had some kind of Kim Kardashian-type work done on him because he seemed to have abnormally large buttocks. The two younger men were at the pool today and caused something of a disruption because they were playing their own music from a small portable speaker; later on, they had their own unique form of play-time that wasn’t quite in synch with what the rest of the couples were up to.

Day 6:  Party Night (12/31/18)

Today, the weather pattern we’ve had for the past couple of days finally broke and our afternoon was mostly sunny.  The evening’s party theme was “Temple Of Pleasure”; the DJ was Hector Romero, who, I’m given to understand, is a popular New York City DJ (I’m from NYC and I’ve never heard of him, but then again, to be perfectly honest, I doubt that I’m in the demographic he’s trying to reach).  Romero played dance music that was similar to what The Portuguese Boys were playing pool-side yesterday; I’m not sure if characterizing it Electronic Dance Music may be 100% accurate, but that’s what I’ve chosen to call its style.  For those of you who’ve never experienced EDM before, I call it “music to have a mental breakdown by”.  Once you hear it, you’ll know exactly what I’m talking about.  I guess Hedo Management decided to go with this in order to appease the younger crowd, especially since last year’s party was a 1970’s theme (to appeal to us old fogies, I suppose).    

Happy New Year my friends. I had a blast bringing in the new year at Hedonism Resorts Negril, Jamaica. Thanks to Enrico, Cristiana & the entire Hedonism staff for a great time. H

— Hector Romero (@DJHectorRomero) January 1, 2019

Day 7:  The New Year (1/1/19)

Everyone was celebrating last night but I saw no reason to celebrate:  when New Year’s Eve comes, I know I’ve passed the midpoint in my vacation and the end is near.    This morning at breakfast, the resort was apparently catering to The Hangover Crowd:  they set up a separate (and very elaborate) Bloody Mary bar.  People who are on shorter trips are suddenly now preparing to go home.  Late this afternoon on the beach, The Bare Bottom Bunch held their annual champagne party on the beach during sunset – which on this day could not have been more perfect.  On this night at the piano bar, it was Karaoke night; the crowd seemed dead (too much partying from the night before?) and the entire experience was boring.  They held the Glow Party by the main pool; I took a walk over there, only to find that I was being approached by hookers, so I returned to my room (alone). 

Day 8:  The Dead Zone (1/2/19)

Now, I have a problem.  The Fun Bunch has either gone home or is now en route.  I brought a total of three books with me on my vacation and by now, I’ve read them all.  As a result, I have absolutely nothing to do during the day.  The plan?  Start drinking early.  Throughout the day, I grow increasingly anxious to go home, but I know that I’ve still got another full day at the resort.  Tonight is The Repeaters Party; I attend it and find that the resort’s General Manager Kevin Levee is there.  He makes no announcements, nor does he take any questions, so if there are any plans for more modifications or improvements or renovations, he kept them to himself.

Day 9:  Toga & Foam (1/3/19)

Today is my last full day at the resort and the afternoon was mostly cloudy, with occasional breaks of sun.  “Idle hands are the devil’s workshop” is what my nuns in Catholic school used to remind us.  As a Type 2 diabetic, there was a bright spot at dinner during the week:  sugar free desserts.  Usually, they were a mousse of some kind, so this was a welcome alternative to the cheese plate or fruit.  That night, I spent most of it in the piano bar hoping in vain for improvements, but it was just as dull and boring as previous nights; I’m not optimistic about the place regaining its old electricity any time soon.      

Day 10:  Returning Home (1/4/19)

This morning after breakfast, I packed, then checked-out.  My ride to the airport was on time (early, in fact); I got to MBJ at 2:30PM for a 5:45PM flight, which wound up being a half hour late – but made up the time by taking only 3 hours to get to JFK.  Following 15 minutes of taxiing to the gate, it occurred to me that since the government was still closed, I might have a substantial delay getting through security; once again, however, it turned out that there was no need for concern since I got through in about 10 minutes (if not less).  That said, we had a long wait at the baggage carousel before the luggage started dropping; luckily, mine was among the first, so I met my driver after getting my bag and got back to Brooklyn by 11PM.  I booked the VIP Meet & Greet Service from Dial 7; it was expensive but definitely worth it (they were very professional).  Despite the fact that it wasn’t exactly a terrible vacation, I was never so glad to be home.