Hedonism II At New Year's 2022-23 -- Trip Report

 Day1 Monday 12/26/22

Checked into Hedo today. Despite all of the craziness we've been seeing at the U.S. airports in the days leading up to Christmas, my flight was thankfully not cancelled -- but it was delayed considerably for a variety of reasons. As a result, the 7:30AM JetBlue flight did not take off for an hour and a half (9AM).

Anyway, I'm here now and that's the only thing that matters I guess.

Upon check-in, they handed me glossy cards: one was an invitation to the New Year's Eve party, themed "Amorous Attractions: Hedonistic Prom Night". The other card was titled "Lustful Liaison", which was just the theme nights for the last week of the year. Comparing this to the PDF of the events schedule downloaded from the QR Code they gave me at check-in (that's new, isn't it?) it appears that the only two nights that are different were Christmas ("The Naughty List: Boudoir de Mystique") and this Saturday (NYE, as described above).

One other thing about check-in: in addition to the credit card, they also asked me for my Driver's License. I don't recall being asked for this before. This is definitely new. What's the purpose? I was asked for my passport, too, but then she asked for my license, which I thought was odd.

Initially I was asked for my passport (as they usually do) and handed it over. Then, she immediately handed it back to me without even looking at it and said, "You know what would be better? If you gave me your driver's license instead". At that point, I handed over the driver's license and she made a copy of that, not both the license and the passport. I needed the passport anyway because on the form they make you fill out during check-in you have to enter your passport number. I have since learned that they are supposed to ask for either or.  So, my best guess is that she probably misspoke because she is used to asking for the passport alone and the driver's license thing is somewhat new.

Based on the weather reports I’ve been checking, this week could be a wet one. It rained slightly on my way from the airport and rained heavily late in the afternoon, stopping just in time for dinner.

Day 2 Tuesday 12/27/22

No rain today, thankfully.  A little annoyed that they didn't give me a notice about the repeaters party scheduled for tonight so I missed that. Since I checked in yesterday, they obviously knew I was here.  On a positive note, I did begin to see quite a few new arrivals tonight, including many familiar faces from New Year’s trips past.  The downside to the new incoming guests was that it was more of a challenge for me to find a seat at dinner (Asian Cuisine night, it seemed).

Day 3 Wednesday 12/28/22

After an ill-advised post-dinner latte, I'm pretty wired-up on caffeine tonight – at least it’s helping me to stay up late without feeling drowsy. 

Next, the piano bar. Monday night there was entertainment but no Eldon; Tuesday night was karaoke (ICK!) and still no Eldon. Tonight, the piano player returned and so did Eldon! Eldon told me that after his horrible accident earlier in the year he's about 80-85% right now; he wasn't able to work for four months, getting injured in June and returning in October. It never ceases to amaze me how he's able to not only recognize me but also call me by name and immediately pour my usual drink without having to be asked.

Lastly, apparently the disco is a thing again -- or at least it was for tonight, anyway. Monday, I tried to go in but the door was locked; Tuesday I didn't even bother. Tonight, when the piano bar cleared out, I left and heard music coming from the disco; when I entered I found the dancefloor packed with people stomping to Pitbull's "Fireball". The bar, however, seemed relatively empty. But at least the disco was back -- if only for one night.

Day 4 Thursday 12/29/22

Plenty of activity around the pool and in the hot tub today, but there has been a pattern of clouds mid to late afternoon which resulted in not only little sun but also no chance to view the sunset later in the day. 

Day 5 Friday 12/30/22

Around 4:30PM today was the first significant rainfall, but thankfully, it didn’t last too long; just as I was getting ready to leave, the rain stopped – as a result, I just swapped for some dry towels and stuck around for a while longer. 

Day 6 Saturday 12/31/22

Friday night as I was preparing for dinner, a note was slipped under my door stating that starting Saturday AM, the main pool deck would be unavailable all day because they were constructing the set for New Year's Eve. As of shortly before dinner at 7PM, they were still putting on the finishing touches, so they just barely completed by the time dinner was officially served.

Dinner consisted of the usual fare for New Year's Eve (i.e. the Friday Gala was moved to Saturday so we had lobster).

Mojito bar set up on the pool deck, martini bar near the courtyard (in that space where the pool/ping pong tables are located).

Went into the piano bar to get away from all the noise; no piano player that night but some folks volunteered to tickle the ivories.

Just as they've done the past few years, the countdown to midnight took place in the courtyard which had more than enough space for folks to dance.

This year and last year, it didn't seem like the place was all that full for the party -- appeared to be quite a few of the resort guests but not that many night passes. I say that because there were plenty of places set for dinner but a number of them were left unoccupied (at least that meant I had no trouble finding a place to sit down to eat dinner).

Day 7 Sunday 1/1/23

Hangover day for many folks so it was rather quiet; what added to the quiet atmosphere was that a few folks had already departed. 

Day 8 Monday 1/2/23

An even slower and quieter day today as even more people I know left; quite a depressing day.  Late day rain forced me to pack up and head back to my room a little earlier than I would have preferred.  One last night of the party before the fun of packing begins. 

Day 9 Tuesday 1/3/23

Got up a little bit earlier than usual so that I could get a head start on packing and grab a quick breakfast prior to check-out.  Pick-up for the ride to the airport was early, so I got to check-in for my JetBlue flight with plenty of time to spare.  Encountered a great deal of difficulty using the kiosk at MBJ; fortunately, there was a JetBlue employee there to assist (albeit begrudgingly).  Long wait to check my bag and an almost as long wait to retrieve my ticket to enter Club MoBay.  Once I got to the lounge, I discovered the flight had been delayed; what started out as a 2:30PM flight eventually didn’t take off until 6PM.  Fortunately, the airport pickup driver was on top of it and delayed meeting with me at the gate.  JetBlue eventually got in touch with me to apologize for the delay by giving me a credit on my next flight – but since it’s only $50, I doubt it’ll help very much (and not much in the way of compensation for all of the time lost and inconvenience suffered). 

 

 

Hedonism II: New Year's Eve 2021

 

Every year since 1997, I’ve spent New Year's Eve at Hedonism II in Negril, Jamaica.

Well, almost every year.

My streak ended in 2020 due to the pandemic.

After a negative Covid test on Christmas Eve 2021, I was cleared to enter Jamaica, albeit with great trepidation. 

Thankfully (luckily), I was back again this time around, following a year of what you might call … 

Covid Interruptus

 

Day 1:  Dec. 27, 2021 – Travel Day

This was not originally supposed to be my travel day; back when I had re-booked my flight (for the trip that was cancelled the previous year), it was scheduled for December 26^th.  In September, Caribbean Airlines rescheduled the flight for the 27^th and in so doing, also moved it to a later time (from 7AM to 9AM).  So, this year, I was to get into Jamaica a day later than planned at a time later than planned.  In re-booking the flight, I also had re-booked the resort accommodations thanks to the Cancel For Any Reason option which I’d purchased in 2020 (and which I shall miss if it is indeed gone for good).  

My flight was Business Class, which is supposed to include access to the first class lounge – unfortunately, the lounge at JFK was closed, likely due to the Omicron variant, so I headed directly to the gate after passing through security.  Additionally, I re-booked the VIP service from Club Mobay to speed me through Customs and Immigration so I could quickly get to my ride from Sangster Airport, courtesy Mr. Reasonable.  Check-in was a bit chaotic, but once getting to my room and unpacking, I was too tired for dinner and just went to bed.

 

Day 2:  Dec. 28, 2021 – First Full Day

Slowly but surely, I began running into a variety of familiar faces throughout the day.  These were folks I hadn’t seen in about two years and they expressed happiness – if not gratitude -- at seeing me back:  “It wouldn’t be New Year’s here without you!” is something I heard frequently.  Whether their joy came from the fact that they were glad to see that I survived the pandemic or (more likely) their pleasure at knowing they did, it wasn’t completely clear; perhaps it was some combination of the two.  Either way, it felt good to be back.  But this would be a vacation unlike any other; my own personal stress level was high.  Sure, I tested negative for COVID in order to get here, but would I be so lucky when time came to leave?

Day 3:  Dec. 29, 2021 – Imperfect Weather

Weather-wise, the day started perfectly, but clouds moved in mid-afternoon and by 4:30PM, it started raining hard; I left the pool area and returned to my room.  Most of the day was fine and since it didn’t rain until late afternoon, it wasn’t too much of a loss – but it did seem to complicate some matters.  For one thing, today was Wednesday – the day of The Repeater Party.  The invitation was unclear as to exactly where it would be held:  either the main pool deck or the piano bar.  Turns out, it was neither – they wound up moving it into the main dining room, which I stumbled upon quite accidentally.  Despite a small controversy over who won the big prize, it was nice to see some more recidivists return in time for the party.  

Day 4:  Dec. 30, 2021 – A Night Of Varied Entertainment

The weather was considerably better today.  Since Day 2 was Karaoke night in the piano bar, I skipped it altogether and instead went last night – my first night seeing Eldon behind the bar.  Last night, the place was packed; tonight, it was a sparse crowd.  The reason for this was due to the fact that there was a variety of entertainment options at night:  aside from the piano bar, there was a casino night on the deck of the main pool.  Additionally, being Thursday, it was also the night for the foam party outside the disco (or nightclub, as some refer to it these days).  Folks were divided between the multiple options, so none of them had a particularly large group. 

Day 5:  Dec. 31, 2021 – The Big Party

With the end of my vacation looming, I used this morning to schedule a COVID test on Sunday so I’d (hopefully) be approved to leave the island.  They have a computer workstation set up in the lobby; I found it cumbersome using the computer to schedule the test; a passing couple saw me struggling and noted they encountered similar grief, so they suggested I use the QR Code instead.  They pointed me to a sign next to the computer station that displayed the code, so I wound up scanning it into my cell phone; using this method, it only took about five minutes for me to schedule my appointment.  After conferring with some friends later on, it turns out they had no issues scheduling their appointment via the computer workstation, so clearly, everyone's experience varied.  

  

The theme for tonight’s party is Masquerade Ball and they had Phantom Of The Opera masks and pictures laid out around the resort.  This year was one of the extremely rare times I was able to snag a table to eat dinner on New Year's Eve; my guess as to why is that there has been a smaller than usual crowd this year and also due to the fact that the resort is limiting the number of night passes sold to people who are not currently guests staying at the hotel.  I grabbed some coffee to try to keep me up until midnight but almost missed the countdown anyway.  Fortunately, I made it back just in time to wish acquaintances a Happy New Year.

  

Day 6:  Jan. 1, 2022 – New Day, New Year

The group was very subdued today – especially in the morning.  It would appear that many partied late into the night and are slow to arise.  My COVID test is scheduled for tomorrow morning at 10:30 and I’m growing increasingly anxious; despite the fact that I’ve been triple-vaxxed with Pfizer and currently have no symptoms, I’m worried that somehow I’ll manage to test positive and delay my return home.  As best I could, I've attempted to take great care to avoid close contact in large crowds -- I never went into the pool when it was crowded and while in the piano bar, I made sure to wear a mask (only slipping it down to take a  quick sip of my cocktail).  

Activity seemed to pick up somewhat in the afternoon.  That night, the courtyard was used as a dancefloor; not sure if the nightclub was open -- I've been avoiding it lately, partly because it's been under-utilized in recent years and partly as a COVID precaution.  The piano bar was open for business but attendance was relatively low.  I couldn't help but notice that most folks there weren't wearing masks and that people were sitting close together around the piano.  Why wasn't the seating more spread out?  And what about the guests singing into the microphone?  It felt like Hedonism was going from SuperClubs to Super-Spreader.

    

Day 7:  Jan. 2, 2022 – Testing

My COVID testing appointment was set for 10:30 AM; I booked an Antigen test for $20.  At the appointed time, I went to the testing area and after checking-in and paying the required fee, had the nurse perform the nasal swab; thankfully, she reported it was negative a few minutes later and informed me that later that day, I would get an official email with a PDF attachment that had the official results -- a duplicate email would be sent to the hotel and she recommended I ask the front desk to print the results to take to the airport with me when I checked-in for my flight.  

That’s when things got weird.  A friend of mine had her test taken at 10AM the same morning and got the email at 2PM; my test was only a few minutes later and I didn’t get the confirmation email until 8PM.  This kind of inconsistency is unsustainable.  As stressful as the trip had already been up to that point, things had now only gotten that much worse; when I had gotten my Antigen test in New York City, my results were emailed in a half hour.  For guests to wait hours for their test results -- especially knowing that they would be leaving the next day -- is unacceptable.  

Day 8:  Jan. 3, 2022 – Returning Home

Before even beginning to pack for my 10:45AM ride to the airport by Mr. Reasonable, the first thing I did this morning was to go to the front desk and request they print my test result so I could show it at the airport upon check-in for my flight.  The only problem was that the hotel did not receive a copy of the email, although I was told they would.  The front desk clerk recommended I forward my email to a Gmail address maintained by the resort; once he confirmed receipt, my printed my test result was delivered to me immediately.  After grabbing a quick double espresso, I returned to my room to pack; heading back to the lobby shortly after 10AM, I completed check-out without incident. 

Again, there was confusion following my check-in at the airport; my voucher clearly showed that I had access to the first class lounge at Sangster, but I was questioned multiple times about its legitimacy and had to explain each time that access to the lounge was included in the price of my Business Class ticket; once at the lounge, I was refused access until they could confirm that I was telling the truth.  The flight was a little late departing, but one good thing:  just like my flight to Jamaica, the seat next to me was empty.  Arriving at JFK, we had to wait close to an hour before the luggage was finally delivered to the carousel.  Getting home a little later than expected, I was not only grateful to have been able to return to Hedonism, but also, grateful to be home and exceptionally grateful not to have had my return delayed due to a positive COVID test result. 

 

Hedonism II: New Year’s Eve 2019

Recently, I returned from my annual vacation to Jamaica to ring in the New Year.  When you have that party at Hedonism II in Negril, it inevitably undergoes a metamorphosis into …

A Saturnalian Celebration

Day 1:  Travel Day – Thursday, 12/26/19

Things did not start well.  My Caribbean Airlines flight out of JFK was two hours late; fortunately, I got a notification late the night before so I was able to re-schedule my pick-up from Dial 7.  The good news is that very little after that went awry.  Having booked the VIP Bundle Service from Club Mobay , I was greeted by their representative shortly after deplaning.  She quickly walked me through the immigration line (brief wait) where my information was processed in short order (I had completed the online Immigration/Customs form prior to this, but also filled out the paper form while on the plane, just as a back-up).

Following this, she took me to the luggage carousel where I immediately found my bag and she took me to the fast-track customs line.  Having advised the representative that I would not be using the Club Mobay services to await transfer to the resort, we strolled outside where my Mr. Reasonable car was waiting to take me to my destination.  Upon arrival at the hotel, there was a bit of a wait to get me checked-in; on top of that there did not seem to be enough personnel staffing the front desk and they seemed a bit overwhelmed to the point that they did not want to be bothered. 

Eventually, once I completed the paperwork, I was told that my room was not yet ready.  Since the flight was late, I would have to wait another hour or so before they would issue me the cardkey for my room.  As a result, I had lunch in the main dining room, then grabbed a Red Stripe at the bar; by the time that was done, my room was ready – they handed me my cardkeys and the bellman took my luggage to the room.  Things did not go well there, either.  For one thing, my door would not completely lock because the latch wasn’t working properly.  Also, after several attempts, I was unsuccessful in getting my room safe to lock, either.  After giving up, I tried calling the front desk, but failed at that as well – it rang a few times, then went to a busy signal.  Later on, I gave the room safe another shot – miraculously, this time it worked (but it was quite a struggle).  Exhausted from a long day, I grabbed an early dinner then caught-up on some much-needed (and welcomed) sleep to start my first full day fresh.       

Day 2:  First Full Day – Friday, 12/27/19

The first thing I noticed after grabbing a chair by the hot tub is that there was a much welcomed change in the hut where the soda & beer dispensers are located:  the ice machine, which appeared to have not been working for the past several years, had finally been removed.  What would eventually fill the space?  And exactly how long is “eventually”?  While the answers to these questions are uncertain, it is my hope that they replace the ice machine with one that is more reliable and then maintain it properly. 

What would also be nice is to get that Red Stripe dispenser to work; it only seems to emit foam rather than beer, suggesting that either it needs to be cleaned or its temperature is too high (Jon Taffer needs to get on this pronto).  Another item on my own personal wish list:  metal stairs leading into the main pool – kind of like the ones in the hot tub.  It’s rather inconvenient to have a single entry point into the main pool; true, you can ease your way in by the edge of the pool, but an extra set of stairs would help.  (Remember when they had that ladder?  It wasn’t that great, but metal stairs would be a perfect replacement)

Today is the day the New Year’s party people begin to trickle in; by mid-afternoon, the main pool was crowded and the party was in full-swing.  This being Friday, it meant tonight, the Gala Buffet was on the schedule for dinner; I anxiously anticipated the usual grilled lobster.  After dinner, the evening’s entertainment included a dance party in the courtyard.  The dance floor was packed, leading me to suspect that maybe there’s still hope for the old disco yet if people really are looking for a place to dance.  Following a trip to the piano bar (where I was delighted to find Eldon serving cocktails yet again), I made a quick trip to the disco and actually found it to be more populated than I expected it to be (both at the bar and on the dance floor itself). 

Day 3:  The Show Begins – Saturday, 12/28/19

Allow me to put this as plainly as possible:  the afternoon poolside BJ’s are a constant source of entertainment.  They say it is the people who make this resort what it is and observing this kind of activity all over the pool complex is endless fun.  Whether you are talking about the hot tub or the main pool, it never seems to disappoint.  But this year, what was arguably the most amusing activity took place in the wading pool where the fountain is located.  One particularly luscious woman was targeting fit young men as they emerged from the main pool and strolled across the wading pool on the way to their lounge chair.  While servicing them, her boyfriend, sitting nearby, looked on admiringly.

As usual, The Bare Bottom Bunch were present this week.  On this particular afternoon, they held their annual champagne party at sundown (or whatever the sparkling wine is that the resort insists on passing off as champagne).  Although this is organized by the group, led by Sabina & Scott, they invite everyone at the pool to join them, whether you are a member of their group or not.  They lucked out again this year as the weather thankfully cooperated.  After clear skies all day, we were treated to an unrestricted view of the sun setting over the water in the distant horizon. 

Day 4:  Reminiscences – Sunday, 12/29/19

This morning by the pool, I ran into my old pal Bob, who arrived the day after I did.  I’ve known Bob for 22 years; my first New Year’s Eve at this resort was in 1997, which is when we met.  Bob is the only one I know who has been doing New Year’s Eve at this resort longer than I have – his first was in 1991.  Although we had engaged in brief chats the past couple of days, this morning was the first opportunity to have a somewhat extended conversation.  Today, we spent about 20 minutes recollecting memories of our past vacations when high jinx ensued – with Bob usually at the center of it all.

Harry, the owner, has been here since my arrival; as one might expect, he’s been dancing up a storm with his date for the week and even singing in the piano bar.  I passed by when he was having a conversation with a couple of other guests and overheard them talking about a vineyard he owns.  Apparently, on top of everything else, he makes his own wine.  This came as something of a surprise to me because I’d never heard about it before.  Gradually, the magnitude of this man’s wealth was coming into focus.  As Emerson, Lake and Palmer sang, “Oh, what a lucky man he was!”.

Day 5:  Water – Monday, 12/30/19

I’m beginning to gain awareness of my water intake.  Many times a day, I’m taking advantage of those bottles of water buried in ice in the cooler on the beach.  While it’s good that I’m staying hydrated (it’s been sunny and 85 degrees each day so far), on the other hand, I’m also increasingly cognizant of how many bottles are adding up in the recycling trash.  More infuriating still, I’m seeing people drop non-recycling trash in that can.  Additionally, I’m noticing the paper straws and stirrers at the bar.  With all of the fires that are consuming Australia recently due (presumably) to climate change, it is at least reassuring that Jamaica is assuming some responsibility about the environment. 

Day 6:  The Big Party – Tuesday, 12/31/19

The weather has been perfect – up until tonight, when it really counted.  At dinnertime, a light rain fell; it was nothing that would make you run for cover and no one was carrying an umbrella, but nevertheless, it was inconvenient, especially when you consider the New Year’s Eve party was going to take place outdoors – specifically, in the courtyard, near the piano bar.  Also, since the buffet was outdoors on the terrace of the pool, that made things a bit slippery.  The New Year’s Eve dinner could basically be described as the Gala Buffet on steroids – bigger, bolder, grander.  Fortunately, the rain stopped just in time for the party to begin.  Rather than try to describe it with words, I’ll leave you with some pictures taken from the evening.

DJ Lenny Fontana was on hand to provide the music for the party.

A little rehearsal before the show for New Years Eve here in Negril Jamaica at Hedonism II #2020WillBeTheYearFor #housemusic #fun #holiday #music ##RhythmAndFlow #dance #djimbe pic.twitter.com/bXntAFxyTr

— Lenny Fontana (@LennyFontana) December 31, 2019

Day 7:  New Year’s Day – Wednesday, 1/1/2020

As those remaining sleep late to recover from last night’s blow-out party, I begin to notice something is missing:  what’s missing is some of the people whose company I’ve enjoyed the past few days.  It may be hard to believe, but following last night, a number of people are leaving today; I can’t imagine going home on New Year’s Day after the previous night.  How does one wake up early enough to get ready to check-out?  Do you wind up staying up all night long, then return to your room to pack?  That’s pretty rough.  In any event, I was suddenly finding myself a bit lonely.

This being Wednesday, it is also the night of The Repeater Party.  The invitation, however, was unusually ambiguous; for one thing, it didn’t include the date (it just said “Wednesdays”) and it didn’t specify the location (it said Piano Bar or Pool deck).  That being the case, I decided that perhaps the best strategy would be to hike over to the pool deck and if I didn’t see any action there, make a U-turn and head to the piano bar.  As luck would have it, my first guess was correct and it all turned out to be going down at the pool deck. 

Following the cocktail party, dinner began and I headed to the dining room.  On this particular night, they were serving the roasted pig.  I love this porcine creature.  Therefore, it is something of a shame that I took gleeful pride in defacing the little guy.  Making a bee line directly to the carving station, I made the following request to the gentleman working there:  give me both ears and both cheeks (of the pig, that is).  He was likely disappointed that I was his first customer because the poor fellow seemed to encounter a bit of difficulty slicing off both cheeks of the pig.  It’s not my fault; blame the pig for being born delicious.   

Day 8:  Ghost Town – Thursday, 1/2/2020

By now, either one of two things are true:  the folks I’ve vacationed with for the past few days have left or they are currently in the process of leaving.  Not only that, but the population of the resort had significantly shrunk.  There were damned few people around and of those that remained, I couldn’t recognize any one of them.  While the weather for most of the week had been great, both yesterday and today were cloudy.  The rain that arrived in time for New Year’s Eve brought with it a great deal of humidity, which lingered even today. 

This was my last full day here and it was a depressing one to be sure.  It is at this point that I’m becoming anxious to leave.  Later that night, after dinner, I decided to grab a cup of coffee and chill out; I walked over to a table at the back of the dining room and took a seat.  As I’m sipping my coffee, I see out of the corner of my eye a woman leaving the ladies’ room and she’s heading directly for me.  She grabs my arm tightly and asks, “Are you the owner?”.  “Excuse me?”, I replied, to which she said, “Are you the owner of this resort?  The people I’m with pointed you out to me and told me that you were the owner of the resort!”.  While I was aware that this might be a potential opportunity, alas, I was not up to the calling.  “No, I’m not”, I answered, “but don’t disappoint your friends.  Tell them I’m the owner and that I liked you so much that I offered you a free week on your next stay”.  She laughed and walked off, never to be seen again. 

Day 9:  Get Outta Dodge – Friday 1/3/2020

Last night at the piano bar was a downer.  They performed “Desperado”, at which point I knew it was time for me to leave:

Desperado, oh, you ain't gettin' no younger
Your pain and your hunger, they're drivin' you home

And freedom, oh freedom, well that's just some people talkin'
Your prison is walking through this world all alone

…

Desperado, why don't you come to your senses?
Come down from your fences, open the gate
It may be rainin', but there's a rainbow above you
You better let somebody love you (let somebody love you)
You better let somebody love you
Before it's too late

Ouch.  That one hit home.  Too distraught to visit the Thursday night foam party, I simply skulked out and returned to my room.  Awaking the next morning, I got breakfast then returned to my room to pack.  Upon completion, I showered, dutifully checked-out, then went to lunch and awaited Mr. Reasonable for my drive back to the airport.  My arrival at JFK was a bit earlier than expected and I had a long wait at the luggage carousel.  Fortunately, my driver was patient and waited for me in Terminal 4.  He got me home in a half hour.  Sleeping in my own bed never felt so good. 

Hedonism II: New Year’s Eve 2018

“The Hajj”

For people of the Muslim religion, there is The Hajj:  a once-a-year pilgrimage to Mecca.  My annual pilgrimage is to a somewhat less holy place:  Hedonism II in Negril, Jamaica for the New Year’s Eve celebration.  Here’s a rundown of my time there.

Day 1:  Travel (12/26/18)

With a government shutdown having occurred just days prior to my trip, I was mildly concerned about how that would impact my travel; it turned out that I was worrying for nothing as it appeared to have no impact – at least not for the time being, anyway.  For the first time ever, I purchased the Arrival service from Club Mobay.  I did not purchase the bundle (arrival & departure) because I book the business class flight on Caribbean Airlines and that is included in the price of purchase.  The reason for purchasing the arrival only service is not to use the lounge but instead to get the fast-track through security.  Since I had a car waiting for me (Mr. Reasonable), I figured I could skip the lounge and go straight to my car so I could get to the resort faster.  The Club Mobay service worked flawlessly and I highly recommend purchasing this for your own trip.

Day 2:  First Full Day (12/27/18)

In the two decades that I’ve been vacationing there at New Year’s, this is the first time I can recall seeing an eggnog dispenser at the main bar; it was there during breakfast, but I don’t know if it remained there throughout the day.  If it was there on my previous trips, then I missed it – but this may have been the first year I recall seeing eggnog being offered at Hedo.  For at least the third year in a row, the ice machine is not working; I’m referring, of course, to the ice machine in the hut by the hot tub.  Are they planning on fixing the machine?  If they are going to replace it, what’s taking so long?   Why is it still there?

Day 3:  Return of the Partiers (12/28/18)

This morning at breakfast, I noticed that the eggnog dispenser was gone, so apparently, the management has officially declared Christmas season over.  The good news, however, is the fact that today is the day that The Fun Bunch arrived – the folks who I remember from previous years that provided a great deal of the positive energy in the past.  There is a noticeable change in the mood around the place; where it seemed to have been relatively sedate, the folks who tend to ratchet it up for New Year’s have finally returned – and not a day too soon!

Day 4:  The Gazebo (12/29/18)

When I woke up, I felt like making some coffee in my room; I was discouraged from doing so by the fact that although the room was supplied with a coffee machine and coffee packages, there was no sweetener nor creamer.  Weather-wise, the morning was sunny followed by a mostly cloudy afternoon.  The cloudy weather was in no way an encumbrance to many of the guests as there were afternoon PDA’s a-plenty.  Going to the piano bar that night, I found it to be mostly pretty boring, but on a good note, Eldon was back behind the bar; he had been noticeably missing the past couple of days (turned out he was on vacation).    Later, I walked to the disco, which was fairly dead; what was not dead was the gazebo immediately outside the disco – three couples were engaged in an orgy and there was quite the crowd gathered around to watch.

Day 5:  The Portuguese Troika (12/30/18)

Last year, I noticed there was a gay couple at the resort; it turned out they were from Portugal.  One of them was considerably older than the other.  This year they returned, and brought a friend, so instead of being a couple, they were a triple.  Their third friend appeared to have had some kind of Kim Kardashian-type work done on him because he seemed to have abnormally large buttocks. The two younger men were at the pool today and caused something of a disruption because they were playing their own music from a small portable speaker; later on, they had their own unique form of play-time that wasn’t quite in synch with what the rest of the couples were up to.

Day 6:  Party Night (12/31/18)

Today, the weather pattern we’ve had for the past couple of days finally broke and our afternoon was mostly sunny.  The evening’s party theme was “Temple Of Pleasure”; the DJ was Hector Romero, who, I’m given to understand, is a popular New York City DJ (I’m from NYC and I’ve never heard of him, but then again, to be perfectly honest, I doubt that I’m in the demographic he’s trying to reach).  Romero played dance music that was similar to what The Portuguese Boys were playing pool-side yesterday; I’m not sure if characterizing it Electronic Dance Music may be 100% accurate, but that’s what I’ve chosen to call its style.  For those of you who’ve never experienced EDM before, I call it “music to have a mental breakdown by”.  Once you hear it, you’ll know exactly what I’m talking about.  I guess Hedo Management decided to go with this in order to appease the younger crowd, especially since last year’s party was a 1970’s theme (to appeal to us old fogies, I suppose).    

Happy New Year my friends. I had a blast bringing in the new year at Hedonism Resorts Negril, Jamaica. Thanks to Enrico, Cristiana & the entire Hedonism staff for a great time. H

— Hector Romero (@DJHectorRomero) January 1, 2019

Day 7:  The New Year (1/1/19)

Everyone was celebrating last night but I saw no reason to celebrate:  when New Year’s Eve comes, I know I’ve passed the midpoint in my vacation and the end is near.    This morning at breakfast, the resort was apparently catering to The Hangover Crowd:  they set up a separate (and very elaborate) Bloody Mary bar.  People who are on shorter trips are suddenly now preparing to go home.  Late this afternoon on the beach, The Bare Bottom Bunch held their annual champagne party on the beach during sunset – which on this day could not have been more perfect.  On this night at the piano bar, it was Karaoke night; the crowd seemed dead (too much partying from the night before?) and the entire experience was boring.  They held the Glow Party by the main pool; I took a walk over there, only to find that I was being approached by hookers, so I returned to my room (alone). 

Day 8:  The Dead Zone (1/2/19)

Now, I have a problem.  The Fun Bunch has either gone home or is now en route.  I brought a total of three books with me on my vacation and by now, I’ve read them all.  As a result, I have absolutely nothing to do during the day.  The plan?  Start drinking early.  Throughout the day, I grow increasingly anxious to go home, but I know that I’ve still got another full day at the resort.  Tonight is The Repeaters Party; I attend it and find that the resort’s General Manager Kevin Levee is there.  He makes no announcements, nor does he take any questions, so if there are any plans for more modifications or improvements or renovations, he kept them to himself.

Day 9:  Toga & Foam (1/3/19)

Today is my last full day at the resort and the afternoon was mostly cloudy, with occasional breaks of sun.  “Idle hands are the devil’s workshop” is what my nuns in Catholic school used to remind us.  As a Type 2 diabetic, there was a bright spot at dinner during the week:  sugar free desserts.  Usually, they were a mousse of some kind, so this was a welcome alternative to the cheese plate or fruit.  That night, I spent most of it in the piano bar hoping in vain for improvements, but it was just as dull and boring as previous nights; I’m not optimistic about the place regaining its old electricity any time soon.      

Day 10:  Returning Home (1/4/19)

This morning after breakfast, I packed, then checked-out.  My ride to the airport was on time (early, in fact); I got to MBJ at 2:30PM for a 5:45PM flight, which wound up being a half hour late – but made up the time by taking only 3 hours to get to JFK.  Following 15 minutes of taxiing to the gate, it occurred to me that since the government was still closed, I might have a substantial delay getting through security; once again, however, it turned out that there was no need for concern since I got through in about 10 minutes (if not less).  That said, we had a long wait at the baggage carousel before the luggage started dropping; luckily, mine was among the first, so I met my driver after getting my bag and got back to Brooklyn by 11PM.  I booked the VIP Meet & Greet Service from Dial 7; it was expensive but definitely worth it (they were very professional).  Despite the fact that it wasn’t exactly a terrible vacation, I was never so glad to be home. 

Hedonism II: New Year’s Eve 2014

 

Veterans of Hedonism II have spent the past couple of years sitting back waiting and watching as the resort’s new owners have tried to revive a once-successful franchise whose previous management appeared to have forsaken.  While many and varied changes have occurred during this time period, guests have not always unflaggingly embraced them, or at least have done so with reservations.  But what of these alterations?  Have they improved the customer experience or are they merely serving as “putting lipstick on a pig”? 

As a long-time guest of the resort, I recently returned from yet another visit precisely for the New Year’s Eve celebration both for a vacation and to see if it’s now truly  …

Hedonism Version # 2.0:  The Next Generation

 

 

What was better than last year?

• The telephone in the room worked (on my last visit, they were upgrading the phone system, which meant that all of the phones in the guest rooms were out of commission)
• The food in the main dining room's buffet had improved selection/quality
• New and better treadmills in the gym
• Security (more below)
• The bathrooms behind the pools (nude side) were renovated (they just reopened after my arrival; details below)
• The ostentatious jewelry store is replaced by a very classy wine bar (details later)
• The piano bar has been opened up (additional outside seating and walls have been taken down inside – photo below)
• The espresso bar is now open (although I didn’t actually see anyone working there until the end of my stay – photos below)

 

 

 

What still needs improvement?

• Water temperature in the shower (too hot)
• Entertainment Coordinators (too intrusive; perhaps they should consider abandoning this concept altogether)
• Martinis (the bartenders still don’t know how to make them; explanation below)

The Good News

The food at the buffet in the main dining room during dinner had a wide variety and was generally very flavorful, although some meat was a little dry and chewy and their attempt at risotto was anything but the soupy quality those familiar with the dish might expect. 

The treadmills in the gym have been replaced with newer models that are easier to use (feel free to attach your iPod/iPhone to listen to music).  While I don’t know how new they are, the one other positive thing about them was that all appeared to be working; although I was the only one in the gym using the treadmills at the time, none of them had an “Out Of Order” sign posted on them – something which at least one machine used to have in my past visits. 

If you read my trip report from last year about Hedo at New Year’s, you’ll recall The Big Break-In Of 2014, which had all the earmarks of an inside job.  Thankfully, no such incident occurred this year, which can likely be attributed to the new security company the resort has hired (a Canadian-based organization that hires Jamaican guards).  It was clear from casual observation that these guards were a huge improvement over what was previously there:  they were very professional in their approach, took their job seriously and didn’t miss a trick.  Late one afternoon, there was an incident at the hot tub and security took care of it efficiently and with aplomb. 

It appears I arrived at a good time – the day I checked-in at Hedo, the freshly-renovated restrooms by the nude pool had just re-opened.  As far as the men’s room is concerned, it looks beautiful and for the most part is smartly redesigned; there are two toilets (each with a door that closes) and two urinals – the sinks were moved outside, but at the time, it appeared that only one was working.  Unfortunately, the entrance appears to be something of a design issue in that it is very wide and there is no door; as a result, anyone passing by can easily see someone standing there using the urinal. 

While I did not really avail myself of the wine bar during this stay, it certainly does seem very nice.  On New Year’s Eves past, the resort typically sells bottles of high-end champagne; this year, it seems that the wine bar was selling bottles of both sparkling wine and champagne.  After checking the wine list, I saw that prices ranged from $35 for Prosecco ($30 for a Rosé version) to $300 for Dom Perignon. 

The Not-So-Good News

As stated above, the shower in the rooms continue to have issues with respect to water temperature; it was only on my final day (when I took a shower in the late morning) that I had a reasonable temperature for the water – the rest of the time, it was way too hot and on my last night, it was absolutely scalding. 

What are we to do with these Entertainment Coordinators?  While I’m given to understand that a good many guests truly enjoy their presence at the resort, I personally have always found them to be superfluous.  Seriously, do we all need coaxing to play bocce ball, trivia games or scavenger hunts?  My personal opinion is that their time for usefulness has long since passed and while I don’t wish for anyone to lose their job, it would seem that the money used for their salaries could be best spent elsewhere (perhaps on the other planned renovations ongoing at the resort). 

The set-up of the Martini bar is something that I always welcomed but they keep changing the location so it can be hard to find; sometimes it’s near the bar, other times on the main pool deck.  This year, on New Year’s Eve, it was moved to just outside the piano bar (around the corner from the wine bar), which I very nearly missed.  The other problem here is with the martinis themselves; they are inconsistently made and generally incorrectly made.  When ordering an extra dry martini, I have seen bartenders range from drizzling vermouth into the glass then dumping it into the sink (which is correct) to pouring an overly-generous amount into the shaker containing the gin (wrong); either way, the martini should never be shaken – it should be stirred.  Stirring a martini chills the base spirit (gin, in my case) without diluting it with melted ice; it also results in the cocktail itself being clear (you can see through the glass).  When a martini is shaken, however, straining it into the glass results in a cloudy mixture; in addition, shaking causes the spirit to be diluted by the melting ice, negatively impacting the flavor (also, it causes shards of ice to float atop the glass, which should never be the case). 

The Repeater Party

Normally, The Repeater Party is held on Wednesday evenings; this week, it was moved to Tuesday because New Year’s Eve fell on a Wednesday this year.  Harry, who was at the resort just about the entire time I was there, was in attendance at the party; he mentioned that further renovations would be ongoing during the off-season.  Included among them would be the lobby, the stage (including the lighting), the electrical system, the dining room and the buffet area.  He mentioned that whenever he sees the current layout, it looks a bit too much like the 1970’s; that he’s interested in updating and modernizing things a bit was somewhat encouraging. 

New Year’s Eve

The food quality and selection on New Year’s Eve has consistently been the best during every vacation and that continued to be the case this year.  As far as the entertainment was concerned, they had a total of five acts appearing onstage.  After midnight, there was a band playing in the newly-renovated courtyard; their stage was set up right by the building that houses the restrooms by the tennis court.  Unfortunately, their set kept getting interrupted due to the fact that the electricity kept going out.  The following night, on New Year’s Day, that same area was used as a screen on which to project the live broadcast of the annual Sugar Bowl college football game.  

New Year’s Eve 2014 at Hedonism II (Negril, Jamaica)

Summary

So, is Hedonism II still worth the time, expense and effort?  Ultimately, I suppose it depends on what you’re after.  During this trip, I met a couple from Alberta, Canada who were celebrating their wedding anniversary; they told me that they used to vacation at Hedonism III, then switched to Hedonism II after their original resort closed.  They spent a few vacations at Hedonism II, then stopped coming a couple of years ago because they felt that the resort was going downhill.  Then they heard that the ownership had changed hands, so they figured they would give it another shot.  She told me they were emboldened by the changes that were made here and might return next year.   

As for me, there are too many memories here to stop coming altogether; vacationing here since 1988 and spending every New Year’s Eve since 1997, it would be hard to give up.  I’ve resolved myself to the fact that it is not now and never will be a five-star hotel and that it will only go into the 21st century if it’s dragged kicking and screaming.  The one turn-off that I did have came at the end of my trip as I was checking out; the person at the front desk asked me to be sure to post a review on Trip Advisor if I enjoyed my stay.  This seemed odd and it was the first time it had ever happened to me.  Upon returning home, I checked the current ratings of Hedonism II on Trip Advisor; at the time of this writing, they have nearly 1600 reviews, over 1200 of which are rated either Excellent or Very Good.  Why would a resort that has a 78% favorable rating be begging outgoing guests for even more reviews?

Another observation:  it’s now been close to two years since the new owners of Hedonism II took over.  These new owners are successful businessmen who also truly believe in the place and have their own history with the resort.  However, as businessmen, they are also obligated to look at the bottom line.  Although they presently seem committed and sincere about aggressively improving the resort, one must realistically ask how long this will continue?  If the resort appears to be making money, then it’s quite possible that these upgrades will continue indefinitely.  However, if it merely turns into a money pit after about five years or so, will they simply decide to cut their losses and sell the resort to an organization that will bulldoze it and replace it with a more family-friendly hotel?  Perhaps that’s why their staff is imploring the guests to post positive reviews on Trip Advisor. 

Regarding the entertainment staff:  despite what I said above, I do realize that Winston is an extraordinarily talented singer – I just wish he would stick to regular singing than to perform his transvestite schtick.   During my stay, there was an employee who was leaving; on his last night, he worked in the piano bar and Winston bid him farewell by singing “Con Te Partirò” in the style of Andrea Bocelli; Winston was, quite simply, excellent.  It was an appropriate way to say goodbye to him and seems a fitting way to conclude this year’s trip report.

 

Time To Say Goodbye