Hedonism II -- Where you can be wicked for a week!
Hedonism II – Where the pleasure comes in many forms!
Hedonism II – Where you can find women performing Their Wifely Duties … with men who may or may not be their husbands!
Yeah, if it’s New Year’s Eve, then I’m there again – a place where I’ve spent the past 15 of them rather than to brave the wintery weather here in my home of New York City as multitudes of tourists flock to Times Square in order to ring in the new year.
But is my time there winding down? Mother Of Mercy! Is this The End Of Rico? In my mid-fifties, 18 years a diabetic and recently diagnosed with glaucoma, as much as I hate to admit it, perhaps it is indeed winding down …
As many of us who are long-time visitors of Hedonism II in Negril, Jamaica know, the demographic of its clientele has been changing; the majority are repeat visitors who have been vacationing there for many years and the aging of those guests eventually result in their ultimate demise. According to experts, this simple act of “dying” (as I’ve often heard it called) tends to directly impact on the amount of time spent vacationing; shockingly, dying results in a decrease in the amount of vacation time and dollars spent.
But is Hedonism II something of an Evergreen? Can it outlast the dying-off of its original customer base by marketing to new, younger vacationers who will continue to keep the place going? “Hedonism II: The Next Generation”, in effect? I don’t know. That’s why the theme of this year’s Trip Report is …
Fifty Shades Of Gray Hair:
The Aging Of Hedonism II Vacationers
Day 1: Wednesday, December 26, 2012 - “The Usual Suspects”
Recidivists. Repeat Offenders. The Usual Suspects.
Call them what you will, these are the vacationers from all around the world – many of them from The United States and Canada – who have made Hedonism II their home away from home many times over.
Following my check-in shortly after noon on this Boxing Day, I had lunch, then immediately went to my room to unpack. Exhausted from an all-nighter to catch my 6AM flight that morning, I took a nap shortly thereafter. A few hours later, I awoke somewhat refreshed and began to make my way to the piano bar where I heard The Repeaters Party was being held.
On my way, I ran into another Hedo New Year’s Regular, a man I shall refer to as Mr. New Year’s Eve because he is just as much a part of the New Year’s celebration at Hedonism II as is the stroke of midnight on December 31st; in fact, as a gentleman a decade my senior, he has spent more of them here than I have. Subsequent to his always warm greeting, he told me that he had just arrived a short while ago himself and sadly informed me that not only had he lost several Hedo friends earlier this year but that a couple we knew – also Hedo regulars at New Year’s – would not be joining us due to the fact that both of them had encountered significant health problems throughout the year. Later, after a purchase in the gift shop, I ran into a couple I knew from previous Hedo visits at New Year’s who also gave me a similar story about yet another couple who would be skipping this year.
Ask not for whom the bell tolls. And what’s that annoying ringing in my ears, anyway?
Day 2: Thursday, December 27, 2012 - “Power To The People”
On this day, we had an hours-long power outage that began in the afternoon and lasted well into the early evening. The entire resort was in complete darkness by 6PM, after the sun had set; the power came on briefly a half hour later, only to go off again in 15 minutes. By 7:30PM, the power had been restored for the remainder of the evening. Throughout the resort, the staff laid out a number of candles – the same ones used on the tables in the main dining room during dinner; Housekeeping even wound up putting lit candles in the guest rooms as well.
At one point, there were so many candles around the main dining room that the bar looked like the altar of a Catholic church. Eventually, they ran out of regular candles and were forced to use citronella candles instead; while this succeeded in keeping the bugs away, it also caused the dining room to reek something awful. Later that evening, when the power had remained on for a sustained period of time, employees from the Housekeeping Department visited each guest’s room to collect the candles.
That church-like feeling stuck with me for a while; it felt somewhat like we were attending a funeral – one for Hedonism II, maybe – and that everyone was in mourning. If the guests weren’t dying right before our eyes, could it be possible that the resort itself might be in its final death throes?
Day 3: Friday, December 28, 2012 - “Carpe Diem”
Although everything appeared to be normal in the early morning, scattered electrical problems continued throughout most of the day in a majority of the resort. A Hedonism II employee was overheard telling another guest that the problem had to do with a transformer that went out; a crew was dispatched to repair it and the problem seemed to be resolved last night, but whatever they did turned out to be nothing more than applying a band-aid to a hemorrhaging wound.
What had looked like a nearly empty resort was now slowly starting to fill as departing guests were being replaced with new arrivals. While the new guests were inconvenienced to find no electricity upon their arrival, existing guests such as myself naturally didn’t experience any real problems during the day – it was only after sunset when problems developed. Unlike yesterday, at least the lobby and main dining room had power – so, at a minimum, a few guests could be somewhat mollified by having the bartenders make them blender-based drinks.
Exhausted, I finally returned to my room around 8:30PM in dire need of a shower, which I was hesitant to take in a darkened room where the only light came from a single candle (supplied again by Housekeeping). Only five minutes later, I heard (and felt) the room’s air conditioning kick in; checking the lights, I found that power had been restored – but for how long? Nevertheless, I quickly showered and dressed with an alacrity that would have rivaled Usain Bolt since it was impossible to know how much longer we would have electricity. That night’s Gala Buffet was hardly gala, given the circumstances.
Day 4: Saturday, December 29, 2012 - “Let There Be Light”
Between the number of people checking in late last night and early this morning, the resort appeared considerably more populated than it had been the previous couple of days. For those of us that have been here for a while, we’re all rather tentative and a bit punchy by this point -- somewhat waiting for yet another shoe to drop in terms of either a power outage or some other kind of service disruption.
As things were to turn out, not only did the electricity remain on for the entire day, but there were no other significant power outages for the rest of my stay, thankfully. During the outages, the General Manager was highly visible around the resort – and clearly busy and stressed out. I saw him walking all around the resort with his cell phone seemingly glued to his ear and at other times, conducting impromptu stand-up meetings with staff at various locations around the resort in order to get updates on the situation. Despite the frustration, I must say that he seemed on top of the situation at all times and from my own limited perspective appeared to have managed it well. Therefore, it was good to eventually see him more relaxed and at ease, even smiling occasionally.
Also here during this week was The Bare Bottom Bunch, a group that has been present for the last several New Year’s Eves at Hedo. On this night, they sponsored a foam party in the disco; while I didn’t attend it myself, from all appearances, it was rather well-received. Attendees I spoke with generally said that they had a good deal of fun and that they enjoyed themselves considerably.
Day 5: Sunday, December 30, 2012 - “Resort Or Retirement Community”
Had another chat with my friend Mr. New Year’s Eve today. He told me that he has been retired for the past couple of years and that while he gets a pension and collects Social Security, he still has to withdraw money from his bank account every month in order to make ends meet. Despite this, he somehow manages to make it here to Hedonism II every year in order to celebrate New Year’s Eve with the rest of us. Is it any wonder that I want to be just like him when I grow up?
Last night at dinner, I saw an elderly woman in a wheelchair being pushed around by an apparently similarly-aged gentleman throughout the main dining room – probably her husband. This afternoon, I spotted him pushing her to the back of the nude pool area. She sat there for a few minutes looking wistfully at all of the interaction and playful activity that developed between the couples. Was she nostalgic for days past? Or was she yearning for a past that never was? Maybe both. Shortly thereafter, she instructed her “driver” to wheel her away.
Is Hedonism still a resort? Or is it now on the verge of turning into a retirement community? Sometimes, it almost seems as though it is on the verge of making that very transition. Certainly, it would be a very different kind of place to send one’s parents once they can no longer fully care for themselves. But what then should we expect? The elderly being permitted to wear Depends adult undergarments on the nude beach?
Day 6: Monday, December 31, 2012 - “The Pre – Party Party”
Without a doubt, this afternoon seemed to be the most sexually active than any other day I’ve spent here so far. It almost felt like no matter where you looked – or when – there was something on which you could feast your eyes. Whether it was the pool, the lounge chairs or the hot tub, there was no shortage of playtime between eager couples. On this day of New Year’s Eve, you might say that this was the pre-party party. In spite of this, it still seemed to me that the crowd here was not as big as those in New Years’ past; we’ll see what the guest passes bring this evening.
As in years past, they did sell bottles of Champagne, but it was much more low-key in comparison to last year; usually, they set up a table at dinner time near where the buffet line starts, but this year, they did not. Instead, I had to inquire the bar manager if they were in fact selling any bubbly; she said they were and that the menu was available at the front desk where it could be purchased. This year’s menu included Moët & Chandon for $100, Prosecco for $30 and sparkling rosé brut for $25; seeing as how I didn’t particularly care for any of the choices – and that (unlike in past years) I was not at a table with a group of people, I skipped purchasing a bottle.
Another difference from past parties is that there was no martini bar; in some years, they would set up the martini bar next to the Champagne station on New Year’s Eve while in other years, they would hold off on the martini bar until dinner time on New Year’s Day. This year, they did neither. Fortunately, they had the martini bar set up on the previous Friday during the “Gala” Buffet, so I didn’t miss it completely.
Day 7: Tuesday, January 1, 2013 - “Good Morning, Brooklyn”
Brooklyn, it would seem, is its own brand. I have noticed this over the years when seeing how people react whenever I tell them where I’m from. When going away on vacation, I do not hide the fact that I am from New York City’s most famous borough; quite the opposite, in fact – I exploit it. In the event I am asked where I am from, I never respond with “New York City”; I’m always more precise than that – I instead reply with one word: Brooklyn. Then I stand back and watch the response.
This tends to become more of a factor how I relate to people (or more specifically, how they relate to me) after they’ve seen me in my t-shirt that proudly proclaims: “Brooklyn: Only The Strong Survive”. After that, people who meet me don’t forget me, even if they can’t recall my name. “Hello, Brooklyn!”, I’ll hear on the beach or “Happy New Year, Brooklyn!” screamed at me from across the bar or even, as was the case early on this day as I headed to my lounge chair by the pool, “Good Morning, Brooklyn!” from a gentleman sipping coffee from the upper floor room overlooking the hot tub.
It is not unusual for me to be asked if I’m really from Brooklyn, as if it’s far too incredible to believe that anyone would so openly admit such a fact in public; apparently, it’s got a stigma attached to it that might be comparable to admitting that one is from the Jersey Shore after the popularity of a particular television show.
Day 8: Wednesday, January 2, 2013 - “The Last Guest At The Party”
Have I overstayed my welcome? Is it time to go? Where are all of the people we partied with on Monday night? Clearly, I am that dreaded of all creatures, otherwise known as The Last Guest At The Party; I am The Thing That Wouldn’t Leave. As fewer and fewer New Year’s Eve revelers remain, today appears to be something of a transition day; folks who didn’t check-out yesterday are now exiting in droves today. And the cheese stands alone.
Over the many years now, it has long been tradition that during the month of January, a swingers group descends upon Hedonism and performs what is commonly referred to as a “takeover”. Slowly but surely, this group is starting to find its way in to the resort. Quite frankly, if the sexual energy level at this little corner of Negril wasn’t already high prior to their arrival, it is pretty much guaranteed to change, almost within the blink of an eye.
The other visual clue that my vacation is nearing its end can be found in the lobby of the resort. There, you can find tables set up for the different travel agents who specialize in swinger-oriented vacations; it is their groups who will be the overwhelming population here at Hedonism over the next few weeks. Suddenly, I am beginning to feel – dare I say it? – distinctly unwelcome. Quite the outsider, indeed. Now, if only I knew where I left my passport …
Day 9: Thursday, January 3, 2013 - “The Panic Attack”
What did I miss that I wish I had done?
What did I do that I wish I hadn’t? (The more likely question)
Who didn’t I speak to that I wanted to meet?
What tour did I want to take before I let time slip away from me?
What massage did I plan to have when I came here but forgot to schedule?
Which cocktail did I thirst for when I thought I had tried them all?
These are just some of the questions that one begins to ask oneself when their days at Hedonism dwindle down to their precious few. A most distinct feeling of panic starts to set in and cannot be ignored, no matter how much one may try. You can see it in those few remaining stragglers – it’s quite obvious, at least it is if you make the effort to look for the rather blatant cues. Their last full day at the resort is spent as though it was going to be their last full day on earth and they try to live it to its utmost.
That beehive of activity is completely lost on me, but I manifest the dreaded Panic Attack in different ways – I get extremely fidgety. All of a sudden, where I previously had absolutely no trouble staying on my lounge chair for extended periods of time, I now can no longer seem to be able to sit still. Not if I tried. Not if I wanted to. Not even if my life depended on it. My mind and my body are both plaintively trying to tell me that I’m ready to go, if only I’ll be willing to listen.
Day 10: Friday, January 4, 2013 - “The Inevitable ”
The inevitable finally arrived – check-out and my return to New York City. The long flight home provides sufficient time for reflection.
What went right on this trip? Well, certainly the weather for one – nearly every dusk brought us a perfect sunset, applauded by all gathered on proper side of the linked fence that distinguishes the population of Point Village from the rest of us Undesirables. In fact, the only hint of rain came on my last day – just a few drops fell for about 10 minutes; I almost feel like I’m overstating matters to even call it rain.
What went wrong? Obviously, the aforementioned electrical challenges that put a damper on things for a bit. But even more of a downer was learning of either the loss or illness of some Hedonism regulars who usually join us at the party for New Year’s Eve.
This point recalls the overarching theme of this year’s trip report: the other inevitability -- that of aging and death. Or the other flight home, if you prefer.
On my last evening at the resort, I went to the disco and noticed all of the new crowd – many of them a young (I would guess in their 30’s) melting pot (accents overheard included Russian, Italian and British). Yes, I suppose Hedo will go on, but what one must come to grips with is that eventually, it must go on without us.
In the meantime, Brooklyn beckons. And it’s where I belong. For now, anyway.
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